


Blackbird

by space_kid (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: BAMF Sammy, Fluff, M/M, Make a Wish Foundation, Sick!Castiel, Tattoos, actor!dean - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 11:49:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2506724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/space_kid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Make-A-Wish foundation gave more then just a wish to Castiel Novak and his cancer.</p><p>He met the love of his life, actor Dean Winchester, and romanced bloomed.</p><p>//on hiatus until further notice sorry//</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small prologue :)

_"Blackbird singing in the dead of night._

_Take these broken wings, and learn to fly. ___

_All your life. ___

_You were only waiting for this moment to arrive." ___

-Paul McCartney

* * *

The words fall from the doctor's mouth like a flowing waterfall, fluent and crisp, gliding to Castiel and his older brothers and sister's ears, tearing up any hopes they had. Castiel thinks he's getting pranked by Gabriel again, until he looks at the doctor's eyes, holding back sadness and depression behind impossible grey eyes. Beside him, Castiel hears Anna choke a sob out, covering her mouth to keep a scream of agony in. Michael has his eyes wide, leaning forward in his chair toward the desk, waiting for the cruel punchline that never appears. Lucifer looks down right _pissed _at the doctor, a sneer visible and directed toward the man. Anna crumbles down, head in her lap as her eyes screw shut in defeat, trying to build up the dam, but obviously failing. Castiel wants to rub her back in comfort, but can't pick his jaw up off the floor by his feet. The doctor continues to state, mouth in a line.__

"I need some air," Castiel announces, standing up on shaking legs in front of the desk. Michael and the doctor's eyes follow him, as the doctor nods his head in approval, Michael coaxing Anna to sit up with a tissue for her smearing makeup.

"We'll discuss the treatment plan," the doctor says, but Castiel can't hear him over the voices screaming in his head to just get out and run away. _It can't catch you if you run. ___

Castiel staggers to the door, twisting the handle and pushing the wood outward. He walks out of the room, into the hallway containing his younger siblings. Gabriel bounces off the wall he was leaning against in a relaxed fashion, panic flickering in his eyes like amber fire. Balthazar walks over to Castiel, balancing Samandirel on his hip while he sucked his thumb and holding Hannah's chubby hand. She looked oblivious and innocent, obviously having no idea what's happening to her family. Castiel envies his younger sister immensely.

"What did they say?" Gabriel asked, eyes wide. Castiel turns to face him with tears brimming, making him blurry. Castiel has to tear his look away, instead looking at Samandriel, who was very nervous around the negative energy. Castiel forced a small smile, tears almost spilling.

"What's wrong, Castel?" Samandriel croaks, pulling the digit from his mouth. Castiel swallows sadness, eyes flickering between his younger siblings.

"You guys want some ice cream?" Castiel asks Hannah and Samandriel, who immediately perk up at the usually forbidden treat. Hannah squeals as she releases Balthazar's hand, clutching for Castiel's. Samandriel wiggles his way out of the blonde's grip, grasping Castiel's other hand. Castiel smiles at the children, turning his backs on Gabriel and Balthazar, who were both quieting calling Castiel's name, only to be ignored. As Castiel walks down the abnormally lit hallway, clutching his younger sibling's hands, he lets the tears flow freely in darkness, sobs escaping his weak body. The doctor's words continue to echo his head, much like they've been doing since they were first uttered.

_"I'm sorry Mr. Novak, but you have acute myeloid leukemia." ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your enthusiasm for this story! I hope you all are excited and can wait ;)
> 
> Here are the ages for our characters in case you were wondering:
> 
> Cas: 17  
> Dean: 17  
> Sam: 13  
> Anna: 19  
> Michael: 24  
> Lucifer: 24  
> Gabriel: 16  
> Balthazar: 15  
> Hannah: 6  
> Samandriel: 4


	2. Chapter 2

The television doesn't bring Castiel as much joy as it should, with it's five channels, four of which being local news stations, and the other a children's cartoon channel that plays dancing shapes and various colors for _hours _on end. Castiel decided that he'd rather scoop his eyes out with eggshells then watch that channel ever again, usually switching between the four other choices randomly. It's the only thing he can do, really, since his diagnosis 4 months ago.__

Castiel clenched his hand on the blanket, gripping the material with a knuckle bleaching force. The less he thinks about that delirious day, the better he knew his life would be, or so his therapist had told him. He go visited her -or rather, she visited _him _\- and he'd talk about how's he's doing (fine) and how's the family (good) as though they are friends. Meg, his therapist, tries to drill it into his skull that they are going to be friends, the best of friends. Castiel just sighs and turns to the other cheek, watching the window rather then what's happening outside. He knows she's being paid to be his friend, but it doesn't lessen the blow, it still results in a somber mood and him politely asking her to leave, which she does after a few minutes of squabbling. Most of the nurses at the hospital were like that: pretending and fake. Castiel hates it here.__

He hates it more then he can believe. The beds that are unnaturally soft, the food is unrealistically tasty, the people disgustingly kind. He wants people who are real, and don't treat him like fine China. He may be weak, yes, but he is still a person. He just wants to have a normal conversation that doesn't start off with _how are you feeling? _He wasn't dead, isn't that good enough?__

And it's when Anna visits him that he cherishes the moments he doesn't have a brain splitting headache or puking his guts out. She smiles pure silver, and Castiel feels just a little better about being in a death house.

"Hey Cassie," Anna teased, walking toward his bed where he laid down, smothered in blankets. Castiel smiled at his sister, feeling good and happy for the first time today. _About damn time, _he thinks to himself.__

"Hello Anna," Castiel whispers, digging his hand free from his warm nest to reach out to Anna, who grips his hand fiercely. She smiles down at him, who returns it instantly.

"Are you seriously watching the _news? Again?" _Anna asks in a teasing voice. Castiel rolls his eyes.__

"You and I both know if I could, I'd would've read the library here 4 times over," he says, mocking exasperation. Anna gives in, giggling, which is the best thing Castiel heard all day. Suddenly, his sister's eyes light up, an idea brewing. It was either hilariously amazing, or amazingly awful, Castiel knew from prior knowledge.

"Scooch over," Anna says, trying to crawl into Castiel's bed. He grins and rolls his eyes, eventually moving over to give her the room she apparently needs desperately. She burrows down into the warmth, leaning close to her brother.

"What are you doing?" Castiel asks in a worried down. Anna gives a mischievous smile at him, waggling eyebrows.

"I won't let you spend another day watching guys in monkey suits flap their lips on a fuzzy screen," Anna says, pulling his phone out of her back pocket, turning on Netflix. Castiel raises an eyebrow.

"Well, what if I _like _these guys and their flapping lips?" Castiel asks, leaning over to watch Anna type, starting off with "SU."__

"Well trust me, once you watch this, you'll forget all about their fancy suits and sweaty foreheads," Anna promises, eventually typing out the title _"Supernatural." ___

"Supernatural? That's what this show is seriously called?" Castiel asks, already judging it. The cover picture is of a red pentagram, bloody and shrouded in fire. It looks slightly in the sci fi genre, but a part of it also says horror. Castiel didn't know Anna would be interested in this type of thing, but he hasn't had a chance to bond with Anna since the diagnosis, so she could be into screamo for all he knows.

"Don't judge a book but it's cover, Cassie. This show is my shit," Anna says, playing the first episode. The two siblings cuddle close, sinking further into the mistress and deeper under the blanket. It starts off a fire, a mother burning away on a ceiling, a husband's a break of agony, a young boy rushing outside with his younger brother. _"Take your brother outside. GO JENSEN, GO!" _Castiel looks over at Anna, wondering how the hell his sister loves this show so much.__

It only took a few more minutes to see why.

As soon as the character Jensen Wessen graces the screen, Castiel feels his throat catch on it's self. He is so strikingly handsome, it's almost distracting, with emerald eyes, feminine lips, and sprinkled freckles. His hair is the kind you want to run your fingers through, his eyes holding more then his lips. Castiel feels his breath speed up, completely catching him off guard. He doesn't know what he is feeling, or how to control it, but what he does know is that he _seriously _feels uncomfortable with Anna sitting next to him so closely. Suddenly, he feels a hand cover his. And for a childish split second, he expects Jensen to be connected to the hand, but sees it's Anna with her big sister mask on.__

"Jensen is a hot piece of ass, isn't he?"

Castiel feels his face flame with red embarrassment, looking anywhere but Anna, who was staring at him with a shit eating gleam. The feeling in his stomach turns to magma.

And suddenly, there is an arm around his shoulder, pulling him to Anna's side with a chuckle and a soothing rub. Castiel let's himself be dragged toward her.

"Wow, I'm so glad I'm here to witness Castiel Novak's first television show crush!" Anna squeals, laughing and jerking with joy. Castiel feels as though his face as officially caught on fire burning away skin and muscle until all that remains is bone.

"It's okay, Cassie. Crushes are normal, everyone eventually has one," she says, seeming to have calmed down quite a bit. Out of her field of vision, Castiel rolls his eyes.

"This sounds like a conversation to have with as 11 year old girl, not seventeen year old guy..." He trails off, unable to focus on anything other then Anna's barking laugh that ingintes a bottle of fondness in his mind.

"It's not like, you chose a _bad _looking guy. Everybody and their mothers know Dean Winchester is illegally sexy," she said, leaning over Castiel's bed to pick up her laptop, firing it up and googling "Dean Winchester" and clicking his Wikipedia page. Castiel lets his eyes wander over the screens at the images provided, all good looking and all distracting.__

"Dean Winchester," Anna reads to her brother, "age 17 from Lawrence, Kansas. He is orphaned, watched over by his uncle slash agent Bobby Singer. He has a little brother named Samuel, and a half brother named Adam." Anna scrolls down his page, Castiel internally whistling at the long list of movies and television shows Dean has been in, ranging from romantic heart thorns to action. Castiel is thoroughly impressed by this boy, and his attraction to him only grows.

"Says here he started acting when he was 8 years old, persuaded by his now deceased father," Anna says, eyes wide. "And he won 2 day time Emmys! This guys a badass," she whispers, continuing to scroll down and read silently with Castiel for a good 5 minutes. Castiel finds the moments in total silence with his family legendary, considering they are a rare treat, what with Hannah's screaming, Samandriel's crying, or the machine beeping almost always present. Castiel finds himself smiling like a fool when the nurse enters the room.

"Miss Novak, I'm afraid Castiel needs his rest and medicine," she says in her fake tone and fake empathy. Castiel is harshly thrown back into the here and now, hating his left side getting cold. When Anna reaches over for her laptop, Castiel places his hand atop her's, staring up at her pathetically. She sighs loudly.

_"Fine," _she says, moving her computer until the screen is facing him. He looks up at Anna, who only winks and promises to be back next week to watch more Supernatural with him, and Castiel is for he first time in a long time, excited about something. Castiel nods at his sister, who leans down and kisses the top of his head in a comforting gesture.__

Castiel starts the second episode before Anna has even left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Of all the things Castiel thought he'd be into, a show about demons and ghosts was not one of them. Not even in the top ten. If you told him 2 years ago that he would be sitting in a hospital room, dying while swooning over an actor on a show where he fights monsters and hates himself, he'd laugh in their face.

And then, he'd get a wicked migraine because _sickness. ___

And so it's quite a shock to him, that a week after Anna's visit, he's gotten past 2 season is Supernatural. Two years of television in 7 days. It's strange, he decides.

* * *

_Two Months Later ___

"CASEL!!!" Castiel hears a loud scream, turning from his book to the doorway to see Gabriel and Anna, holding both Samandriel and Hannah's hands. Hannah has a face of glee, eyes shimmering, and Samandriel is smiling bright and true. Castiel finds himself grinning along with them, marking his place in his book and sitting up, facing them. Gabriel has a lollipop sticking out of his mouth, Anna wearing a necklace he sees is a small black bird. Castiel feels his chest expand at the sight of it, grinning stupidly.

Hannah and Samandriel let go of the sibling's hands and running over to the side of the bed, Samandriel barely able to look over the side frame. Castiel looks down toward them.

"Hey kiddos!" Castiel exclaims, hearing Gabe and Anna advancing toward them. "How are you all feeling? How's school?" Castiel has endless questions.

"Balazar said he had work so he couldn't be here. He says sorry," Hannah explains, looking exasperated. Castiel sighs, mentally marking down that he needed to call him later.

"I got a flu shot today..." Samandriel said.

"Me too!" Hannah chimes in. "It hurt." She points to Anna. " Anna made us!"

Castiel laughs at that, seeing the mocking disgusted face Anna pulls.

"I heard Anna say that she 'doesn't want more death,'" Samandriel pipes up quietly, and the laughter dies quickly. Anna has wide eyes when Castiel tears his eyes from his younger brother. She has tears in her eyes, obviously looking for the right words to say and not offend. Her mouth opens with unspoken apologies, and Gabriel lays a hand on his sister's shoulder, trying to calm her down. A soft sob escapes into the stale air, and Castiel looks down at Samandriel, ruffling his brown hair.

"She's not the only one," Castiel whispers to the children. And then it's quiet.

* * *

10 minutes after they arrive, Hannah and Samandriel are watching the dancing shapes channel, as Gabriel takes a phone call from Balthazar outside and Anna is sitting in Castiel's bed, watching a re run of Supernatural.

"Damn, Dean is looking mighty _fine _in this episode," Anna whispers, causing Castiel to grin a small grin.__

"Someone covered in blood and dirt should not be that attractive," he whispers back, feeling Anna nod but not tear her eyes from the screen. He hears her sigh.

"Cas..." She looks away from the screen finally, and Castiel and feel the shame radiating from them. "I'm sorry, for what I said." She says, looking down with obvious guilt. Castiel covers her hand on the blanket, comforting her. He knows what it's like, to think about all the blood spilled in the Novak name. The children hadn't spoken about Mother and Father since after the funeral, when Lucifer told them that Mother and Father wouldn't want them fretting over the fact that they are orphans. Michael and Lucifer promised the older children that they would watch over them, Lucifer eventually leaving the state to found better work and sending the money to Michael to pay off bills for the hospital and Balthazar and Gabriel's private education. Sometimes, Castiel feels downright disgusted at himself for the money he's drained from his already strained family, and wonders how better they would be without him.

He blames the thoughts on medication.

"It's okay, Anna," he says, giving her a smile of hope, hope he is beginning to lose. She exhaled her breath, wiping her eyes with a free sleeve.

"I can't believe _I'm _the one crying here," she says in a gravelly voice, laughing. "God damn pathetic."__

He slings an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into a side hug. "Aren't we all?" Castiel asks, which causes her to laugh again. And he wants to laugh, a great belly laugh. And so he tries. And he prays

And then he feels _awful. ___

It's some of the worst pain he's ever felt, and it's slithering down his body like millions sold snakes biting softened flesh. He can't _breathe _and he tries to gasp for air like a fish. His head is on fire, burning out like a match head. In a far part of his mind, he hears a laptop crash and a child screaming loudly, screaming like it's the only thing to do. Screaming because the alternative is crying.__

Castiel groans loudly at the pain, leaning over to the laptop side to vomit, heaving his guts out while Anna holler to Gabreil and collects the children. Hannah burrows her head into Anna's stomach, not wanting to see Castiel go through this, while Samandriel watches his older brother die with wide and glassy eyes, absorbing every detail to bring upon later in life. Castiel feels hot and cold at the same time, eventually screaming out in pain from his head and stomach. It felt loo like a giant spider crawling in his gut, and he was building a nest for her young to grow and inflict pain later. He screams again.

Castiel hears the door open, and doctor rush in to help secure the body and give him medicine. Anna falls into Gabriel's arms, crying from the horrific sight. Castiel feels a hand grip his. He grips it right back, to show he's here. Hannah is wailing.

"Castiel..." the man whispered, "Squeeze if you hear." Castiel is too weak to squeeze back, instead letting his eyes flutter closed. He was doing so well, too. He was recovering at a promising rate, not having an attack in a few weeks. He heard chats about him going _home. _He could've visited them all, and not leave for a week except for work at the library. He could've been normal, paid his dues, found a gal and start a little family.__

"I can't believe it.." Anna whispers into the material, clutching tighter. She frets, and Cassie doesn't like it. But now, all he can do is not squeeze back and pretend he's asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to change the title, but I thought the story through better and like this title more :) thank you for the continued support <3


	4. Chapter 4

Dean had a pretty shitty day.

First of all, he didn't really like the script he was provided for the episode of the week. He wasn't really into episodes focusing on werewolves and vampires. Too much Twilight for his taste. Second, his co star is a bag of dicks. A literal, gigantic bag of dicks. The actor, Gordan, always yelled at the crew about the most mundane things like the wrong dressing on his rabbit food and the wrong brand of bottle water. Dean was two minutes away from ripping his has it out, so he was thankful that the day was over and he could get back to his trailer.

Dean has had some pretty shitty days in his experience with film and acting. Some directors were saints, and some were Satanists. Some co workers were amazing, and some were awful. He takes the good with the bad in the industry, sometimes getting downright _abysmal _gigs, like cat food commercials and men's underwear. Sometimes he gets good gigs, like the one he has now, "Supernatural." He was approached with the role last year, teenage demon hunters, immediately accepting it. In little time, he was officially a teenage heart throb, posters on little girls walls and imaginary weddings. He loved his fans and his work, and honestly wouldn't trade anything for another life, whether he was homeless or a king. Dean smiled to himself as he finished the shitty day.__

He quickly thanked the crew and directors for the day, and hustled off to the trailers. As he opened the door, he was greeted with his brother Sam, and and the back of the pink shirt with blonde curls. Dean leans against the doorway, and whistles. Embarassed, Sam turned around with a red face and a dropped jaw.

"DEAN!" Sam yelled, causing the girl to turn around. It was Jessica, a smart and pretty girl Sam has been crushing on since forever. Dean grinned at his younger brother.

"Hey Sammy," he says, walking over to him and ruffling his hair, snatching a piece of pizza in front of the two kids. Sam glared at Dean as he took a big bite. Dean looked at Jess with a quirked smile.

"Hey Jess," he says. Jess smiles at him, a nice smile.

Dean looks back at Sam, brushing the crumbs off his hands from his finished pizza. "Finally grew the balls to ask Jess out?"

Sam grew beet red, eyes wide while Jess quietly chuckled beside him. "It's not a date," Sam hissed. "We're _studying." _Dean rolls his eyes.__

"Whatever, Sammy..." he says, moving to wash his hands.

"Oh shoot!" Jess says, looking at her phone. "Mom says I have to be home like _now." _Sam immediately stood up, knocking the chair over.__

"I'll walk you out!" Sam offered, glowing. Dean gave a grin at his little brother. He was always a nerd around Jess.

Jess, however, shook her head. "It's alright, I know the way out," she grinned, picking up her books and pencils, along with another slice of pizza and a wink at Sam. The younger Winchester grew bright red at the blonde's obvious flirting. With that, she bid the boys goodnight with a grin and left the trailer into the night. As soon as she was gone, Dean stared at Sam.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously what?"

"A _study date? _Really?"__

Sam shrugged, closing his books up and putting them in his backpack. "Yea, a study date. Y'know, where we read books and write notes? _Without _kissing and whatever you think studying is."__

Dean rolled his eyes. His oblivious, short brother. Dean threw away the pizza box, and made his way to his couch, flopping back on his back and staring at his tan and cream ceiling, groaning. Damn these horrible aches in his legs. He put his forearm over his eyes, blocking the fluorescent lights out of his eyes.

"So..." Sam started, "How was work?"

"Why do you care?"

"I need to know how much annoying I can do before you bite my head off."

Dean chuckled quietly, sinking back into the cushions further. "My co star is a douche, and I'm sore as hell."

"So, how much teasing?"

"I'll let ya know."

Dean heard Sam get up from his chair, zipping up his backpack and shuffling around the area. He listened to the refrigerator and heard a groan of frustration.

"Dean! Did you eat the last Twix?!" Sam bitched, slamming the door. Footsteps were heard leading away, along with a mumbled, "Jerk."

"Bitch!" Dean yelled back, eventually falling asleep, dreaming of Twix and pizza.

* * *

Dean is woken up by the ringing of a phone on the table next to the headrest, which he is currently lying his head on. Dean groans loudly in annoyance, flinging his arm up in the air and clutching the device in his hand. Seeing its Bobby calling, he pressed the cold metal to his cheek.

"Heengh?"

_"Mornin' princess. How are those silk sheets and satin pillow?" _Bobby asks.__

"What do you want Bobby?" Dean asks, looking at the digital clock reading 7:24am. Dean sighed, and fell back again.

_"Well, I actually got some news..." ___

"I'm not really I'm the mood for exposition right now... What is it?"

_"I just got an interesting call from the Make a Wish Foundation..." _Bobby began, and Dean immediately sat up in interest and shock. Make a Wish? Like, where kids who are dying get a wish? Dean was confused.__

_"Apparently someone wants to meet you, Dean Winchester." ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Here is where I'm getting the info for Cas' condition:http://www.webmd.com/cancer/acute-myeloid-leukemia-symptoms-treatments?page=2 :) ___


	5. Chapter 5

Everything hurt. Castiel physically _ached _all over his body, shivering with confused coldness and sweating from delusional heat. The room was dark and muggy, the air conditioning loud and squealing. Castiel breathed through his mouth, slowly blinking, slowing hurting. He laid on his back, staring up at the popcorn ceiling, slowing feeling the memories creep into his mind. Screaming, crying, pain. Castiel gave a quiet groan, and felt a jolt by his left hand.__

"Castiel!!" The boy looked over, seeing Anna with wide eyes and smeared makeup. Anna looked like crap, bags under her eyes and hair knotted and angry. Castiel noticed her holding his hand and the red lines on his cheek, indicating she was sleeping on the crumpled sheet.

Castiel continued to look around, slightly dazed. "What time is it?"

Anna looked at her watch. "Around 1:30 am."

"Oh." Did he really sleep for that long? Anna nodded, solemnly, as if reading his mind.

"They put you in a coma, to help stay alive," she said, looking straight forward, rather then at Castiel. He didn't blame her.

"What day is it?" Castiel asked, rubbing his eye with a free hand.

"Thursday, kiddo. A two day coma. Scared the shit out of us," Anna says, nodding over to the cloudy window, and two masses Castiel didn't notice earlier. Both are snoring, bodies moving up and down with soft and easy breaths. It's Balthazar and Lucifer, one on the chair in a ball, the other on the floor with a cushion and a stray blanket. Castiel smiles.

"As soon as you were... suffering... Gabriel called Balthazar, who called Michael, who called Lucifer. Apparently, he took the fastest train he could, and was here within hours," Anna mused, rubbing a finger over her little brother's soft knuckle. It was a comforting motion, and he basked in the feeling of raw family.

"Where's Gabriel?" Castiel asks, looking around the dark room for the familiar sight of amber.

"We were taking shifts. Balthazar and Gabe, along with the rugrats, are here in the morning, and these two goonies and I are here for the graveyard shift." Anna chuckles quietly. "I heard Hannah and Sammy are making you cards, apparently with glitter and _sequins." ___

Castiel grins slowly. "Oh dear god, I've done it now." Anna grins and squeezes his hand, comforting. Then, silence surrounded the two in a soft mist, sweet and pristine. He didn't particularly mind it, it faces him a chance to think.

He almost _died. _Again. His body failed again, caused her family distressed, spent hundreds of dollars, just to keep his stupid body breathing and functioning. Castiel cringed at the memory of a screaming Hannah, burying her face into Anna's shirt, soaking it in children's tears. Castiel shuddered, recalling Samandriel's livid eyes, glassy and alive, soaking up every detail like a sponge. Anna's crumpled face, utter destruction and loss.__

_"I don't want anymore death," _like a broken record, stiff needle.__

Castiel sighed loudly, causing Anna to look over at him with worried eyes.

"It's okay, Cassie," she said, gripping his hand harder, "I know your thinking about what happened. Don't. Just..." She sighed, quivering, "don't."

Castiel nodded, obeying his sister's wish. He just wanted her to be happy, so he was willing to do anything.

After a few more minutes, he fell into seamless sleep.

* * *

"Castiel?"

The younger boy stirs in his shrouded sheet, trying to bury himself into the warmth. But as he feels the presence overwhelmed, he eventually opens his eyes, looking up at the women, with a crisp suit and a tight bun on her head. She is holding a folder of papers, and had a blank expression masked on her face. He squinted against the sun, noticing the absence of his siblings, immediately uncomfortable and lonely. He closed his eyes, hoping she didn't see him.

"Saw that." Damn it.

Cas shifts but his back is on the mattress, neck cushioned by the 25 pillows provided. He glared at the women, who offered an icy smile.

"Hello, Castiel," she said, words making Cas physically cold, "I'm Naomi."

Castiel nodded, but maintained his bitch face. Silence.

"I'm from the Make a Wish Foundation." More silence. But a different kind of silence. Not soothing, not comforting, not pleasent, but like time stopped, everything froze, hearts slowed. Castiel wasn't stupid, he knew he wasn't honing to live to see his grandchildren. He knew this would end him one day, and took it once at a time, to not drown him and suffocate him. And to hear this, those words, burned into his very soul. Castiel gulped in the silence, and shook nervously.

Naomi offered little relief. "Your siblings have been raising money for you, Castiel. They want to grant you a wish."

Castiel's mind reeled from the onslaught on information being thrown his way. What was he even supposed to say? What was he suppose to wish for? What did he want most in the world? Well, that was easy: he wanted to get the hell out of here, and keep running. He wanted to take trains to visit Lucifer, play cards with Michael, help Anna through breakups, listen to Gabe talk about girls, pick up Balthazar from shady areas, go to Hannah's dance rehearsal, hold Samandriel's hand as he crossed the street. He wanted to be with his family, and not hold them back. He wanted to not be a burden, contribute to the Novak family.

But he wasn't getting any of that, ever.

His brain drifted to his television, to a certain green eyes, a smatter of freckles, grinning physique. Castiel found himself wanting to once, in his life, do something _crazy. _It was his wish, his death, his disease. Castiel could do anything with it, and he fell back on his mattress, pillow hitting the unnaturally soft pillow. He sighed loudly, head pounding and chest aching wickedly.__

"Take me to Dean Winchester," he whispered to the buggy room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a nerd for being proud that I got past chapter 3, but I've never stuck with a story this long, and actually _enjoyed _the writing I did. I mean, it's not perfect, but the idea is something I like writing about.__  
>  _  
>  _Thank you all for 350+ reads ;* <3__


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the italics, I couldn't really fix them ;-;

"Alright, say it slower."

Dean paced his room, socked feet warmed against fake tiled ground, phone held to his cheek and heart pounding away. He heard the rustling of paper on the other side, Bobby quietly grunting in frustration as he looked for the paper he apparently needed. Sammy was snoring away in the other room, even though he really shouldn't be sleeping in the trailer due to there only being one bed, Dean's.

_"This women named Naomi called me a while ago," _Bobby began, the rustling stopping. Dean ran a hand through his bed head, trying to calm himself down. But he really shouldn't be this nervous about meeting a damn fan. He knew he was ridiculous for the pacing and the sweating, but he couldn't help it. _Him? _They seriously wanted to meet Dean Winchester before their death? Seriously? Dean felt nerves crawling up his spine like children on monkey bars, swinging feet and squealing voices.____

_"Said she had this boy who wanted to meet you before his death," _Bobby said, Dean's eyes widened in surprise at the words he heard. Dean stopped dead in his tracks.__

_"His? _It's a guy?" Dean asked in a tight whisper to not wake Sam.__

_"Yea, 17 year old Castiel Novak from Lawrence, Kansas. Disease is called 'Acute Myeloid Leukemia' which makes him dizzy and shaky, and just 3 days ago his liver expanded and he had a seizure," _Bobby explained in a slow flow of words, leaving Dean shocked and speechless. A guy his age from his hometown wanted to meet him on his death bed as his dying wish. Dean let a long sigh through his mouth, flopping down on his couch on his back, eyes staring up at his ceiling and processing the words. What kind of self absorbent douche bag says no to this, a dying wish and a desire? Dean closed his eyes.__

_"Dean? You alive?" _Bobby asked.__

 _ _"Yup, I'm here, just thinking this over," he said, rubbing a calloused hand over his tired face. If this was going to happen, he'd have to talk to Jeb about the next episode's filming needing to be put off another week. No Gordon, which is a plus anyway you turn it. Sammy would probably want to join him, meeting a new face. Dean found himself both excited and nervous, but he found his father's voice echoing in his head of needing to grow a pair. Dean, for the first time in a long time, agrees.__

 _ _

"Alright, when is the flight?" Dean asked.

_"Uh, actually, he insisted on flying out to LA as to 'not bother you,'" _Bobby spoke, sheepish tone detectable. Dean groaned a bit in the kid's frustration. He must be one determined individual.__

"Dammit Bobby! You let a terminally ill teenage guy to fly in a fucking airplane to meet me?! What the hell!" Dean says, voice getting louder and louder with each word, but he found himself not caring.

_"Don't sass me boy, I had no leg room!" _Bobby argued. Dean sighed, agitation palpable.__

"Alright, alright, I'm just sayin' that now I feel like shit, so thanks Bobby," he finally gave in, sitting up and placing his elbows on his knees, leaning forward with a hunched back.

_"Don't mention it, kiddo. Now it goes without saying you boys better clean up that damn trailer before he-"_

"Woah, woah, Woah Bobby!" Dean interrupts. "I'm not taking a terminally ill guy to my fucking trailer! He can come to my house, for Christ's sake."

Bobby is silent, pondering over the words, before sighing. "Are you sure? It seems kinda... Rocky."

"It'll be fine, it's not like he's gonna stab me or something," Dean says. Bobby is silent for a few more seconds before freeing to the terms and discussing more of the arrangements and general 'how was your day?' kinda talk before hanging up. Dean flops back again.

"Dean?"

The older Winchester looked up to see his little brother, hair a mess and clothes wrinkly and matted. Sam rubbed his eye, yawning. "Who was on the phone?" He asked.

"Bobby," Dean answered, standing up and walking over to the mini fridge to get a soda.

"What did Bobby want?" Sam asked, eyes following Dean as he walks. He stands up and talks a long swig.

"We have a guest coming, Sammy," he says as he crushes the can, fiddling Sam's hair as he walks by, reclaiming he his bed from his brother. He fell asleep, smirking but nervous as hell.

* * *

Castiel has never left Kansas, let alone been on a plane.

He and Anna waltz past all the other agitated passengers, Castiel ignoring their glares, focusing on the steady roll of his luggage on bleak tiles while his sister walked beside him. Cas looked down at the ground, mind racing with 'holy shit this is actually happening.'

As soon as Anna heard Castiel wanted to see Dean Winchester, she practically begged him to take her with him, and who was Castiel to say no? Besides, Anna was always more of a people person, and if Castiel was going to meet Dean, she needed to be his mouth and to make sure Cas didn't burst into flames.

Anna's heels clicked against the ground, sunglasses perched on his nose and red hair straightened to a point. She looked camera ready, strutting down a red carpet in white skinny jeans and a navy striped shirt. Castiel felt inferior around her, with him hunched with restlessness and a baggy sweater covering his hands. Cas wanted to be excited to fly to LA, wanted to be smiling and chatting with his sister as they walked onto the plane. But try as he might, he couldn't even fabricate Intrest in his trip, mostly because the only reason he is doing is in the first place, is because he's slowly dying. It's his death wish, fatality trip. Anna seems to forget that little detail, but Castiel didn't have to heart to shoot her fantasy down in a barrel of smoke.

Anna leans over as they walk into the boarding tunnel, drooping her sunglasses to look at her brother with wide blue Novak eyes.

"What's wrong, Cassie?" Anna asked, chomping on gum. Cas didn't want to tell her that he felt unfairly tired, being out of the bed for the first time in what seemed forever; that his body hurts when he breathes and moves; that he's nervous and scared and excited and sick. So Castiel shook his head.

"Nothing, just kinda tired," he says, a wave of hand dismissing the issue. Anna doesn't look convinced, but she complies and agrees, holding his hand as the two board in the plane to first class --another perk thanks to Naomi.

The two give the flight attendant their tickets, and sit in the plush seats and with their carry on. Cas sunk in the seats, practically being absorbed by the material. Anna crossed her legs and pulled out a fashion magazine, skipping through pages with ease. Castiel is suddenly bored, looking around the plane for intrest. He forgot his books in his other page and his phone is dead, so his brain is practically drowning in boredom.

His eyes scan the general area, eyes falling on the small pad of paper and pen. He grabs it and grips the pen, shrinking for something to doodle. Cas minds himself thinking of green and leather and freckles, hand getting a mind of its own and discretely sketching eyes and feminine lips.

Anna looked over at his doodle, shooting him a devious smirk. Castiel is embarassed by the glance, covering the pad with his hand with red cheeks. Anna winks and looks back.

Castiel falls asleep with his cheek resting on Dean's face.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT 3/22: Thank you all for 600 reads, I know I'm absolute shit at the moment, but I've really been into phanfiction and personal stuff, so I haven't written Destiel or Johnlock in like a month. I promise I'll get around to this at sometime. I'm the worst, I know .-.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol im trash

Anna watches her baby brother as he sleeps, putting down her magazine with a sigh and a rustle of paper. Her eyes fall on his face, lax with relaxation and mouth slightly open, exhaling a breath every now and again. He looks so tired, and Anna smiles with fondness. He hardly looks like this, even when he body is full of drugs to put him into sleep. He looks like he's having a good dream, occasionally twitching and smiling.

It's her baby brother. And he's dying on the inside.

Anna feels tears spring to her eyes, remembering what they are even doing, flying to LA. He's _dying, _and he wanted her to accompany him while he does so. Anna covers her mouth to hold back a sob, tears slowly falling from her eyes as she squeezes them shut. He's only a boy, a baby forever in her eyes, and he's so broken and weak it makes her heart break. Cas deserved so much more out of life, to see things and experience things, and now he has nothing, and she will bury her baby.__

Anna runs a hand through his messy hair, praying under her breath for one miracle.

* * *

Cas wakes up just as the plane lands, eyes slowly opening in the California sunshine. He squints against the assaulting light, looking around the plane. Anna is looking out the window, sunglasses on and prepared for the city.

Castiel slowly sits up, rubbing his eyes with his now suddenly uncomfortable sweater. He yawns, looking down at his pen doodle with a faint blush. He hoped Dean wasn't an asshole.

His sister looks over at Cas with a small smile and pink cheeks. "We're here, Cassie." Castiel nods, noticing everyone else unbuckling their seatbelts and standing. Cas and Anna do the same, Anna helping Cas stand up. His legs are suddenly weak, but he manages to get help from the flight attendants and Anna. They are the first out of the plane, as per the instructions given by Naomi. They all watch the sick kid get off first, and Cas wishes he would become invisible. He was still tired and weak, his nap making his body sluggish and unresponsive.

As they exit the terminal, Anna sits Cas down on a seat, his eyes drooping. He needs medicine badly, and for once, questions his trip. Anna kneels down by him, worry etched over her face.

"I'll go get you a wheelchair Cas," she says.

But Castiel just shakes his head, spiralling him into dizziness. "No... I-I'm fine..." He says quietly, and Anna looks back at him with glassy eyes. Cas takes a few deep breaths, calming himself down, and squeezing his eyes shut. He's here. He traveled all this way. Dean is taking time out of his busy schedule. You have plenty of time to die later, Castiel Novak.

He finally breaths normally, not choking and sputtering, and looks up at Anna with wide eyes. He smiles, tight and controlled. 

"Thank you," he whispers to her, and she returns a watery smile. She takes a few deep breaths, and leans down to hug her brother, clutching the scratchy material with manicured nails. He wraps his hands around Anna in the middle of the airport, while standbys walk and chat, completely oblivious to the events that just transpired. Cas almost died, and the most important thing on everyone's mind is which plane and at what time.

They proceed to get their luggage.

The two of them stand there, silence heavy in the air.

"Are we just not going to talk about what just happened?" Anna asked. "Cas, you're in _Los Angeles, _and you haven't praised the city yet."__

Cas shrugged with one shoulder, letting his eyes land on his shoes, dirty and worn. "It's just a place, not much different than Kansas, I guess it's warmer..."

Anna slung an arm around his brother's shoulders, bringing him close. "I know you're anxious Cassie, but even if Dean turns out to be a douche bag, we'll still enjoy the shit out of this city." Castiel laughed, leaning into his sister's embrace as they make their way to the car, putting their bags in as Anna tells Cas stupid puns and god awful jokes. Castiel decided death could wait.

* * *

"Where the fuck is it?!" Dean shouted from the top of the stairs, running around like a mad man. Sam sat on the couch, sipping on a soda while watching T.V. He heard someone special would be visiting, but he had no idea who, or why. But Dean had said that this mysterious visitor might be funny looking, so he better not stare. Sam was wholeheartedly confused.

"Where is what?" Sam shouted, eyes not leaving the screen.

"The fucking vacuum!" He yelled back.

"How would I know?"

"'Cuz you're a clean freak!"

"Bite me!"

Dean pops his head back out over the railing. "Oh Samantha, if only you knew how many people would love to bite me." He grinned.

Sam scrunched his nose in disgust. "Ew, gross jerk."

"Bitch," Dean replies, fondness in his eyes. Sam gives a small smile back at his brother.

"Now, where in the ever loving fuck is that vaccum?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know im the worst, 7 god damn months, but shit got real, phan destroyed me, my laptop broke, and destiel was put on the back burner somewhat... im so sorry for my shittiness, but here you go. sorry it sucks i dont have the patience to rewrite it .-.
> 
> EDIT: 7/2/15 currently my laptop is fucking broken again, and I have zero to no plans to continue this story atm... Sorry, but it'll be a while :(
> 
> EDIT: 8/14/15 lately i have had literally not written anything since this chapter, i have horrible writers block and a dozen unfinished works, and with school starting, ill have even less time. im super sorry, but it seems i cant write fucking anything, especially not destiel. i started wtnv and fell in love with it, and honestly its my main thing now. so if i write anything, itll probably be cecilos D: again, really sorry


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